Agenda

Before your first session, I’ll send you a form to complete beforehand.

The first session is an opportunity to get to know each other and to start building the framework within which we’ll be working. We’ll explore some somatic exercises around consent, communication and boundaries, which will help us create our working relationship. There is no erotic contact during this session and you will remain fully clothed. It’s important to take the time to establish our connection and create the safety necessary to explore your intentions.

Once we have established our working connection, we can move forward at a pace that suits you.

Some people find that a short series of sessions is most beneficial; others prefer regular sessions over months or even years, particularly if they are dealing with ingrained habits or traumatic reactions. The number of sessions depends on many factors, including your learning objectives, your pace, your practices…

Our habits are the result of years of conditioning. To change habits (which amounts to resculpting your nervous system), regular practice over time is essential. To do this, we recommend a series of regular sessions : weekly, fortnightly or monthly.

I will also suggest practices you can do at home, to give continuity to your learning and anchor it in your daily life.

Yes, the sessions can sometimes work very well as a complement to psychotherapy. If you wish, I can liaise with your therapist.

The word ‘trauma’ has been used in many different ways around the world, sometimes leading to misunderstandings between practitioners. The trauma we are referring to here is that which occurs when there has been an adaptive change in the neurological and nervous system in response to a terrifying event, or series of terrifying events, and/or in response to the meaning that the person who has experienced them associates with them.

Trauma-informed counselling means that the practitioner :

• Understands what trauma is from a neurological perspective, can identify what it looks like in the body and has the resources to co-regulate another person experiencing the intensity of a trauma response.
• Takes into account how a person who has experienced unresolved trauma in their body may feel in their presence, in their practice and in contact with them.
• Modifies behaviours, workplace, processes and protocols based on observations and client feedback.
• Creates a space and a way of practising in which he/she is eminently attentive and sensitive to the many ways in which trauma manifests itself and can be triggered.
• Identifies the effects of trauma in the human body, and assesses when a client is in acute distress and needs more specific professional support.
• Is aware of basic information about trauma, its symptoms, triggers and treatments, and keeps abreast of the latest research on the subject.
• Works flexibly and adaptably, aware of the multiple ways in which a traumatised body reacts, moment by moment, to its environment.
• Has taken care to know and unravel his or her own unresolved traumas so that they do not consciously interfere with his or her ability to maintain safety, boundaries and presence with all clients who place their bodies and souls in his or her hands.
• Is in touch with peers and mentors. Trauma therapy is a pioneering and daring field. In this work, it is possible to encounter one’s own dark areas and those of one’s clients. Practitioners have a responsibility to create and maintain regular peer/mentor supervision groups.

Yes.

Nudity can be invited into sessions, if it supports your intentions. The emphasis is always on your experience. You always have a choice and your comfort level is most important. Sessions can be fully clothed if you wish. In fact, most sessions are fully clothed.

I stay clothed in all sessions.

No. This practice leads you to be more present to yourself, your body, your being, in all areas of your life. Sexuality can be a place where your difficulties become glaringly apparent; for example, how to know what you want, how to ask for what you want, or how to be more spontaneous. Mindfulness practices increase your capacity for empathy with yourself, with others and with all aspects of your life.

No, with the exceptions detailed below.

My ethical framework is clear:

• I always remain clothed during sessions and touch is one-way – from me to you.
• An exception is when I teach Betty Martin’s ‘Wheel of Consent’. As part of an exercise, touch can be two-way. In this context, we are clothed and the touch does not involve erotic areas.

Receiving one-way touch during sessions gives you the opportunity to focus completely on your own body as a source of pleasure and eroticism, to feel the kind of touch you want, and to learn how to communicate your desires and needs.

Excerpt from Philip Shepherd, embodiedpresent.com

‘Embodiment isn’t about sitting in your head and paying attention to the part of you we call the body – it’s about fully inhabiting the intelligence of your body and tuning into the world through it. It’s about listening to the world through your body, feeling the world through your breath. We could therefore say that embodiment is a state in which all your intelligence is experienced as a coherent unit in tune with the world’.

No. My work is not part of this movement, even though certain practices may be similar.

Neo-tantra (tantra practised in the West) is not a homogenous whole. It brings together a range of different proposals; each person has their own way of living it, sharing it… with varying ethical codes, whether defined or not.

My support is based on a somatic approach, consent, sexual and sensual education, trauma counselling, bodywork and coaching. You won’t always (rarely?) find all these ingredients in tantra courses/practices. I belong to the tradition of Somatic Sex Educators & Coaches. My code of ethics is transparent.

No.

The title of ‘sexologist’ is a university degree. It is a qualification open to healthcare professionals (doctors, nurses, midwives, physiotherapists, etc.). In general, sex therapists take a more medical approach, which may involve prescribing treatments.

The term ‘sex therapist’ is not regulated. It covers a range of practitioners who take a more ‘psychological’ approach to sexual issues. I have certain practices and approaches in common with certain sex therapists.

I prefer to use other words.

How I feel: if I use the word ‘sacred’ for certain practices, I’m implying that other practices are not sacred; that they are profane.

In my life and work, I try to see and experience the sacred and the profane in everything. I’m afraid that using the terms sacred sexuality and sacred masculine/feminine, we’re feeding into a duality of ‘good’ vs. ‘evil’.

What’s more, I avoid using the words ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ to describe behaviour, sensations, ways of doing things and so on. These words seem to me to have too many connotations, to be too gendered, to carry the legacy of our patriarchal society. I prefer to develop my ideas, be creative and find other words that specify what I want to express.

I believe in the strength and necessity of rituals, which can support everyday life and passages in life.

My events are open to everyone, whatever their spirituality or world view. I’m careful to offer inclusive spaces.

At the same time, my proposals are coloured by who I am, and therefore by my spirituality.  I consider myself to have a spirituality of nature. I feel connected to the earth, the sky, the seasons, the elements, the sun, the moon and its cycles, the rivers…

My path has brought me into contact with a variety of spiritual traditions, all of which inspire me: Eastern (notably yoga, vipassana mediation, tao), shamanic (notably sweat lodges, the vision quest, working with medicinal plants), Catholicism – through my upbringing – and certain new practices (notably Jodorowsky’s psychomagic, Biodanza…).

Pleasure comes from deep within us, from our motivation to live, from our natural drive to live. The search for pleasure is inherent in human beings. It can be found in small everyday acts like taking a bath, tasting a piece of fruit, talking to a loved one… or in simple gestures like a smile, a look, a caress. The search for pleasure begins with ourselves, before being shared with others.

Sensuality means being receptive to your senses, your bodily sensations… what’s good for you.

Sexuality encompasses the whole of our being and mobilises our entire organism.

My work helps you to rediscover the paths of your pleasure, by connecting you intimately with the sensations in your body.